Running a Connect Group Discussion | Session 2

Pastor Ashley Evans - February 19, 2024

Leading Connect Group Discussions:

A. The Why

Why have discussions?
Challenges to overcome
Preparing for the discussion

B. Determining your goals

C. Prepare the Questions

Note: Open Questions vs Closed Questions

1) Observation questions

2) Interpretation questions

3) Dovetailing questions

4) Application questions

D. Generic questions that can be used for discussions based on a sermon

E. Conducting the discussion

Establishing the right atmosphere
Introducing the discussion topic
Asking the questions

F. Responding to the answers

Listening
Providing positive feedback
Getting the most out of a Person’s Answer
Responding to silence
Responding to what the group members say

a) Eye contact

b) Building spontaneous questions

c) Redirecting questions

d) Clarifying questions

e) Justifying questions

f) Responding to wrong answers

g) Responding to “Red Herrings”

h) Responding to controversy

i) Making periodic summaries

G. Evaluating the discussion

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Leading Connect Group Discussions:

A. The Why

Why have discussions?

Consider what it is like to sit down with friends and spontaneously find yourselves talking about things that matter to us. All of us long to find an atmosphere where we can do this. We want to find a place where we can share openly in a safe, relaxed atmosphere. A place where we give each other permission to think aloud without having to weigh our thoughts. This type of setting enables real learning and discovery to take place as we discuss and develop what we believe. When done well, discussion groups foster this type of atmosphere.

Some of the advantages of discussion groups include:

Group members become active participants rather than passive observers
They encourage group members to think
They create an atmosphere of self-discovery
They encourage the application of truth
They provide a catalyst for genuine fellowship
They provide an opportunity for needs to be shared and met
They can reveal what group members don’t know and, therefore, provide insight into areas that need further teaching
They provide an opportunity for the Holy Spirit to bring illumination to the group members

In these notes, we will discover the following:

How to establish the right atmosphere to promote open discussion
How to prepare and use questions to foster worthwhile discussions
How to respond to group dynamics that arise in discussions
How to promote more in-depth insights by developing spontaneous questions during the discussion
How to enhance learning by providing periodic summaries during a discussion
How to develop your discussion-leading skills through regular evaluation

Challenges to overcome

Good group experiences usually don’t just happen by themselves. There are many challenges to the creation of a dynamic group experience.

Some typical challenges include:

The group members don’t talk
The group members talk to the group leader only
One or two group members dominate the “discussion” while the rest remain silent
The group members provide superficial answers and never manage to take them into the realm of discovery or application of truth

To overcome these challenges, the group leader must understand that leading a good discussion requires more than simply asking a few questions. These notes will provide you with the essential skills to meet these challenges.

Preparing for the discussion

As with all areas of ministry, good preparation is essential.

For discussion groups, this preparation includes:

Understanding the goals for the discussion
Developing the questions for the discussion

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B. Determining your goals

The goal of a discussion group is not simply for people to discuss something. What they discuss must be relevant and of value to them. In the same way that a preacher has main points that they want to communicate to their hearers, the discussion leader must understand where he or she wants the discussion to go.

What is it that you want the group members to learn and apply to their lives as a result of the discussion?

If the discussion leader does not know what he or she wants the group members to learn, then most likely, the group members will learn nothing. The goals for the discussion are, of course, developed through prayer and study of the discussion sermon or topic.

The process of developing the discussion goals also involves brainstorming as many different questions as possible about the discussion topic and then prayerfully selecting those that will be relevant.

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C. Preparing the questions

When developing questions for a discussion, it is essential to understand the different types of questions and that not all questions will generate good discussion.

Also, it is important to know how and when each type of question can be effectively used to generate discussion.

Note: Open questions vs Closed questions

The first thing to observe about questions is that they can be either open or closed.

Open questions are questions that require more than a yes/no response. By contrast, closed questions do not generate discussion because they can be answered by a simple yes/no response.

Once a group member has responded with a yes or no answer, there remains nothing more to say if the question has been a closed question, and therefore, the discussion stops.

Examples of closed questions VS examples of open questions:

Did Jesus die on the cross? (CLOSED)
Why did Jesus die on the cross? (OPEN)
What did Jesus achieve by dying on the cross? (OPEN)
Do you think Jesus should be Lord of your life? (CLOSED)
Why should we make Jesus the lord of our lives? (OPEN)
What are the benefits of making Jesus the Lord of our lives? (OPEN)
What does it mean to make Jesus the Lord of our lives? (OPEN)
What are the challenges to making Jesus the lord of our lives? (OPEN)
Is it important for Christians to pray? (CLOSED)
Why is it important for Christians to pray? (OPEN)
What are the benefits of prayer? (OPEN)

Sometimes, using the occasional closed question can be useful in a discussion. They can be used effectively, for example, to find out what the group members think or whether they agree or disagree on an issue. In general, however, most of the questions used in a discussion group need to be open.

Having established the importance of using open questions, it is also important to understand the four types of questions and how they are used.

These are:

Observation questions
Interpretation questions
Dovetailing questions
Application questions

OIDA = IN GREEK MEANS TO BE AWARE OF, TO UNDERSTAND.

1. Observation questions

The first type of question is that of the observation question. Observation questions are used in a discussion to discover the facts. Observation questions get the group members on the same wavelength by causing them to discover the important information that will become the basis of the discussion.

If drawing your discussion from a sermon that the group has heard, they are the types of questions that ask:

What did Pastor…preach about last week?
What did they say about…?
What was the main point they were raising when they talked about…?

If drawing your discussion from a bible passage, they are the types of questions that ask:

What does this passage say…?
What do you notice in verse…about…?

Observation questions do not ask the group members to explain the meaning of what they have discovered. Rather, they simply bring certain facts to the attention of the group. Having discovered these facts, the meaning of these facts can then be drawn out using interpretation questions.

2. Interpretation questions

Interpretation questions generally build upon the facts that were uncovered by the observation questions and are often used directly after an observation question.

Interpretation questions are used in a discussion to discover the meaning of the facts. Interpretation questions go beyond the simple observance or recollection of facts and ask the group to now interact with the facts. It is here that the discussion usually begins to take off!

Interpretation questions are questions such as:

Why…?
How…?
What does it mean that…?

3. Dovetailing questions

The third type of question is the dovetailing question.

Dovetailing questions are used in a discussion to discover the relationships between the facts. Often, in a discussion, it may be important to relate one fact to another. Certain truths may not be fully understood, or their significance may not be understood until they are seen in the light of other truths. Dovetailing questions are used to lead the group to discover the links between truths.

Dovetailing questions are of the type that ask:

How does this fact relate to…?
If this is true, then what does it mean that…?
What are the consequences of…?
How can these two ideas be put together?

4. Application questions

All good discussions should have some relevance to the group members, and using application questions highlights this relevance. Application questions are used in a discussion to help the group members apply the facts to their lives. Application questions deal with the application of the facts and encourage the group members to discuss their attitudes and feelings and how the facts can be put into practice.

Typical application questions include questions such as:

How do you feel about this?
What does this mean in practice?
What does this mean we should be doing?
What can we do to apply this to our lives?

Just as a sermon needs to have a focus on action, each discussion should clearly bring out how the subject discussed applies to the group members and what it means to apply it to their lives. Group discussions are powerful opportunities for lives to change, but this does not happen unless the leader has this as a focus and structures their questions to encourage application.

Effective discussions generally start with observation questions, then move to interpretation and Dovetailing questions and then to application questions.

This flow from observation questions to interpretation, Dovetailing and then application questions is a good rule of thumb but should not be adhered to too rigidly.

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D. Generic questions that can be used for discussions based on a sermon

The goal in leading a discussion based on a sermon that has been preached is to move past just rehashing what was said and get people engaging critically and personally with the topic. Getting reactions, interpretations, and applications to real life will help deepen the discussion. As mentioned earlier in these notes, the first step in preparing for a discussion is to brainstorm as many questions as possible based on the sermon or the passage under study.

The questions will vary depending on the specific message or passage, however, here are some generic questions that could be used to lead a group discussion based on a sermon.

Generic Questions

What was the main point or theme of the sermon? What do you think the speaker wanted us to take away?
What bible verses or passages did the sermon focus on? What did you learn about those verses from the sermon?
What analogies or stories did the speaker use to illustrate their points? Did any stick out to you as effective or impactful?
Were there any statements or ideas in the sermon that challenged you or gave you something new to think about? What stood out?
How can you apply the lessons or teachings from the sermon to your daily life? Were any practical applications suggested?
What lingering questions do you have after listening to the sermon? What would you like to discuss further or get clarification on?
What emotions did the sermon bring up for you? Why do you think it made you feel that way?
Did the sermon remind you of something going on in your life or the world right now? What connections did you make?

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E. Conducting the discussion

Now, having set goals for the discussion, brainstorming a range of possible questions, and finally selecting the questions we feel are appropriate for the group, we are ready to lead the discussion.

Leading the discussion, however, requires another set of skills because leading a discussion is more than just having a good set of questions to ask. Just as there are skills to learn in developing good questions, additional skills need to be learned if we are to handle the dynamics of the discussion effectively.

Establishing the right atmosphere

Once a new discussion group is formed, the members, consciously or subconsciously, begin to assess what they can expect from the group. In essence, each group member forms an opinion on such things as:

Is this group going to be fun?
Is this group going to be interesting?
Will everyone get a chance to share their opinions?
Will my opinions be valued?
Will I learn anything?
Will I be accepted?
Will I be embarrassed?
Can I say what I really think or only what I know they want to hear?
Can I trust the group members?

These expectations may be verbalized, but more commonly, they are simply picked up by participating in the group. Once these expectations have been established in people’s minds, the group functions as if they are a set of rules that must be obeyed.

It is the responsibility of the leader to set the pace and create the expectations that they want to become the norm for the group.

To set the right expectations, it is therefore essential that the leader is enthusiastic and open and that he or she treats the group members in a way that fosters the desired behavior. This includes how they introduce the questions and how they handle the group members’ responses.

Introducing the discussion topic

For a group discussion to be effective, the group members must be aware of where the discussion is going. Group members become frustrated and disinterested if they do not know where the discussion is going or do not feel it is relevant to them. The leader must clearly introduce the discussion topic and explain its relevance to the group members.

Asking the questions

Part of the leader’s role in setting the pace for the group is to ensure that they ask the questions in a way that inspires a good response from the group. The leader must ask the questions in a way that shows ownership, interest and genuineness. The best way to do this is to be enthusiastic about the questions and to ask them in a conversational way rather than reading them out in a detached wooden voice.

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F. Responding to the answers

The leader must respond to the group members in ways that stimulate genuine discussion. Whether the discussion becomes a genuine opportunity for interaction and growth or an awkward attempt at having a discussion is often determined by how the leader responds to the answers given by the group members.

1. Listening

The first and most critical skill is to really listen to what the group members are saying. Under the pressure of leading, it is easy to get caught up in thinking about the next question we are going to ask and where we want the discussion to go rather than really listening to what the group members are saying. It takes discipline and practice to listen, but the group members will open up more readily if we listen to and value what they are saying.

2. Providing positive feedback

The second skill to develop is that of providing frequent positive feedback on what has been said. This might be as simple as periodically saying, That’s good. Be careful, however, not to overdo this as it can create an atmosphere where the group members feel under pressure to provide the “perfect” or “approved” answers rather than feeling free to share their true thoughts.

3. Getting the most out of a person’s answer

Repeat the last 3 or 4 words of the person’s answer with an upward tone or questioning tone.

For example: If someone says, ‘I think the message about prayer is saying we need to be persistent in prayer.’ Repeating the last few words as a question: ‘Persistent?’ This prompts the person answering to elaborate on their answer. You can do this a number of times to great effect.

4. Responding to silence

It is very common in discussion groups for the first question to be met with a wall of terrifying silence. This silence puts pressure on the leader to get the discussion going, so they often mistakenly fill it by answering the question themselves. Having done this, they then move on to the next question and repeat the process again. Silence can work to the advantage of the leader if they have the courage to wait.

By waiting for a response, the leader shows:

They genuinely want an answer
They are willing to give the group members time to think
The question is genuine and important

An often little-understood fact about this silence is that the pressure of the silence is also being felt by the group members and this pressure causes them to think and become serious about the discussion. It will also cause someone in the group to say something to ease the momentary tension.

It is important to note that this silence should not be allowed to go on for more than a few seconds (10 to 20 at the most), as this prolonged tension can be detrimental to the overall atmosphere of the group.

One way to ease the tension of a prolonged silence is to restate the question in the same or different words.

Another essential insight into group communication dynamics is to understand eye contact’s role in drawing people into a discussion. Eye contact is a very powerful tool for drawing answers from group members. If the leader asks a question and then looks at a group member, it prompts that member to respond with an answer.

The leader can draw group members into the discussion by asking questions and then “sweeping” their gaze around the group, creating momentary eye contact with group members or looking at specific individuals. As eye contact is made with each group member, they are subconsciously prompted to provide the leader with an answer.

5. Responding to what the group members say

The initial responses of the group members to the questions asked by the leader are usually simple and directed back to the leader. At this stage, this is not a discussion but a question-and-answer time. To generate true discussion, the leader must encourage the group members to begin talking to each other and asking questions of each other.

There are a variety of ways to develop this interaction.

a. Eye contact

As previously mentioned, eye contact is a powerful tool to encourage the group members to respond to the leader. Therefore, eye contact between the leader and the group members must be developed in the early stages of a discussion to stimulate responses.

Once the group members have begun to warm up and are responding to the leader, it is important to encourage them to begin talking to each other. One way to do this is for the leader to break eye contact with the person who is responding to them. This might be done by the leader looking away and down at their notes while the person is talking. This causes the group member who is talking to look away from the leader and around the group to find someone else to make eye contact with. In this way, the members begin relating to each other.

Three guidelines must be stressed when breaking eye contact with a group member:

It must be done in a way that does not give the impression that the leader is disinterested in what the member has to say
It must not be done too early in the discussion since eye contact with the leader is used to get the group started
It should never be done to a shy and introverted member of the group

b. Building spontaneous questions

A second way to encourage true discussion is to develop the ability to build upon what the group members say through asking spontaneous questions in relation to what has been said.

The leader must listen to the group members’ answers and then build spontaneous questions on what is said. To do this effectively, it is essential that the leader really listens to what the group members are saying. With the pressure to keep the discussion moving, it is easy to become preoccupied with the next step of the discussion rather than fully taking in what the group members are saying. The leader must learn to listen so they can build on what is said.

There are three types of spontaneous questions that are useful in a group setting:

Redirecting questions
Clarifying questions
Justifying questions

c. Redirecting questions

Redirecting questions are useful in drawing further responses from other group members in that they throw the question back to the group.

Redirecting questions are the types of questions such as:

Can anyone else add to this?
What does someone else think?

d. Clarifying questions

Clarifying questions help the group members think through their answers.

They include questions such as:

What do you mean by that?
Could you rephrase that?

e. Justifying questions

Justifying questions helps the group members find reasons for their opinions.

They include questions such as:

Why do you say that?
What has brought you to that conclusion?

f. Responding to wrong answers

If the leader is going to create a genuine atmosphere where the group members can share freely and openly, it is important to learn how to respond well to wrong answers.

The leader must learn to respond to wrong answers in a way that clarifies the right answers without stifling discussion.

The leader will stifle true discussion if they continually correct every small comment that is not totally correct. A genuine discussion is one where varied opinions are presented, and people are given permission to “think out aloud”. Often, in this process, the group members change their opinions if the discussion is allowed to run free.

One way to minimize wrong answers is to use the following:

That’s interesting, what does someone else think?

Another way is to simply allow the wrong answers to be responded to by the group members or forgotten in the pool of answers given.

While it is important to foster this open discussion, it is also important that the group members don’t leave the group confused about the right answers. This can be done by periodically summarizing the discussion so far.

g. Responding to “Red Herrings”

Sometimes, group members will make comments or ask questions that will take the discussion away from the intended topic or goal of the discussion.

As the leader, you are responsible for evaluating these “red herrings”. You may decide that the digression is worthwhile and allow the discussion to follow this new path or, if you feel this new direction is not helpful at this time, you need to bring the discussion back on track.

This can be done by simply acknowledging that the discussion is drifting off-track and bringing it back by restating the question or asking new ones that refocus the discussion.

You may need to assure the group that you are happy to explore the red herring after the group discussion.

h. Responding to controversy

Sometimes, controversy creates great discussions. However, if you use or allow controversy too often you can be in danger of creating a hostile mood in the group. Similarly, if you bait the group too often with controversial questions, you run the risk of not being taken seriously. You may be perceived as manipulative and insincere.

As the leader, it is your responsibility to create and maintain a positive, supportive atmosphere in the group. You may sometimes need to step in and diffuse controversial discussions if hostility arises.

i. Making periodic summaries

In order to reinforce correct answers and correct wrong answers, it is essential to periodically summarize what the group members have been saying in the discussion. This is also an important technique to use as a means of moving the group to the next questions for discussion.

The leader must summarize each main discussion point before moving on to the next discussion question or issue.

In this way, the leader is able to pull together the main points of what has been said and use them to introduce the next line of thought.

A simple way to do this is to use a statement like:

So what we have been saying here is…

It is also essential for the leader to summarize the discussion findings at the end of the session and outline applications or actions to be taken as appropriate.

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G. Evaluating the discussion

Leading small group discussions requires the learning of many specialized skills that take time to develop fully. As with learning any skill, evaluating your progress and planning for ongoing improvement is essential.

If this is to develop their skills, they must evaluate their performance and plan for improvement. The best way to do this is to evaluate the dynamics of each group discussion regularly. This is best done with someone else who was a member of the group so that balanced and realistic feedback can be gained.